why.

My mind is wrapped around Uganda.  Why do I want to go? Is this just me having cabin fever and needing to flee America to reassure myself there are countries less selfish and less consumed by filling a busy schedule?  Is this me yearning to be challenged culturally, yet again? These are the questions consuming me.  Why. Why do I want to do this?

I have come to some conclusions.  Not only will this opportunity give me skills that I will potentially use in a job, this opportunity will allow me to tell my story. 

            If I wanted to go on a trip, I would have gone on one.  One with my parents.  A trip of pure relaxation and quality sun bathing time.  If I wanted to do any missions trip, I would have gone with LOVEWORKS at Point Loma with my friends and classmates.  I would have gone for three weeks, and been able to come back and work.  Oh, but God, that guy up there, knows me much better than that, and more than myself. 

            I desire real relationships, ones that develop over time.  Over laughter, over eating, deep conversations, and silence.  Two months can give me that, if my heart is open to it.  I desire to witness change.  Uganda has been consumed by civil wars and child soldiers.  I need to see this reality, and come to terms that this is not just something I read about in the news or discuss in my classes.  God wants to spark a fire within my heart, I know it.  I desire to be the hands and the feet.  I want to fulfill a purpose.  A purpose to spread love. To spread mercy. And grace.  I will not discredit their culture or try to convince them mine is right, but I will be a light and attribute the brightness to my Savior.   

 I want to love on the people of Uganda, those hurting and those rejoicing.  I want to be their friend and their sister in Christ.  I will be vulnerable with my past, present, and share my genuine hope for the future. I will be honest. I will break the American stereotype.  I will wear skirts to my ankle, t-shirts, and daily spray myself with bug repellent. 

            I am drifting into a  life that is not mine. It is His.  I will answer His call.  I will not give up, and I will learn to be patient. 

I would like everyone to know there has been a deadline extension.  COTN will not be purchasing our flights, but Flood will, and they have extended the $1500 due date.  I am VERY close, but still need everyday to be a day of prayer and trust.